Any toy can be an adult toy. Location, location, location.
so remember that time i slept over and came home in the morning to realize i left my vibrator next to the faucet for parents and brothers to see? this is worse
Note to Self: No matter how horny, turned on or in the moment you are, never go down on your gf after she had soccer practice.
If burritos were dicks, we'd have a serious relationship problem on our hands. Just saying.
AHHHH!!! note to self never google image chastity belt omfg
as we were stuffing their 24 of beer into our bags you kept saying you wanted cheese strings. closest things we found were kraft singles. as the guys came up the stairs you kept screaming 'GET THE CHEESE! GET THE CHEESE!'
I guess you don't realize how much twelve bags of chips are, until they're all over your floor.
I just brought the toaster out onto the porch to light a cigarette, don't talk to me about being desperate.
and i'm going to kill you for what you did to my nipples last night. of course i want to hang out
legit question. can i put a condom down our garbage disposal? my rents are coming over in 20
I've found a new low. I was climb-on-the-bar-piano drunk.
Our relationship needs a sober moment
I'll call you when that happens
Our first order of business as new roommates was to test the sex acoustics of our rooms. I need a new box spring.
Should probably stop going into the gas station to look for the most normal person to hitch a ride with to drive me to a party
I promised to leave my panties on but I didn't promise to not have sex
Randomize
