Marg and I just meaowed the nat anthem. I was tenor.
'm tripping baaaaaaaaaaaaaaas
just chased whiskey with a pickle. i definitely recommend it
My parents just told me I first got drunk when I was 4. Successsssssss
he opened up his "box of magic": a crusty tube of KY jelly, three expired condoms, a fingertip vibrater, and a jar of marshmallow fluff.
Gay TA. Finally going to boost my GPA your way.
She tried to escape and she fell and hit the door. She's gunna freak when she wakes up with only half a tooth.
I'm lying topless with an eye infection at the foot of my bed with a dog between my legs. With disney in the background. Its one of those 3 am moments
These are your "grown up" slampiece's new hours of operation; please plan accordingly
I drew a nude short fat middle aged woman today and liked it
It was honestly one of my favorite days in art class except for the 20 min she faced me and kept looking at me and we made eye contact
btw I told him that the only way he was gonna get to eat you out was if he smothered your vag with grits..
seriously they are like going to hulk burst through. There are perks and downfalls to having big boobs
ten seconds after he was done making out with the blonde, he rips off his jacket and screamed "Goddamn it, you know I like brunettes"
I have never seen someone so pissed at getting some. i called dibs so fuck him
I have already been up, showered, had a cup of coffee brought to me, added a little rum to cure the hangover, had sex and kicked him out and it's only 1pm. Successful day so far.
Did my dad just see you doing a walk of shame?
Yup I waved.
I know you're here! I can hear your phoneeeee. Wake up and do illegal things with me.
Randomize
