Third unemployed latin in my bed this week. I'm on a roll
been sitting in chapter for 25 minutes. drinking last night's franzia out of a XXX vitamin water 10 bottle. recruitment chair has no idea. life is good.
She had to get her inhaler in the middle of fucking...but she kept it in.
My corndog is like a popsicle of bread. A WHOLE. POPSICLE. OF BREAD.
Just heard an advertisement for 40 proof chocolate milk. We may never have to grow up
FYI the landlord called and plumbers will be tearing up the bathroom tomorrow. Apparently the tub is leaking into the apt below us so be sure to pee in the shower today.
your friend did not want a bj. we need to leave. this is very awkward.
Drunk
Deyhxbr
Fucaerrrrr
hotdog in my bra and i still managed to score. Got a bit freaked when he tried to eat it though. I paid 3 bucks for that fucking hotdog.
Medically YOU CAN'T BE AN ALCOHOLIC TILL 25!!!!! WE GET 3 BONUS YEARS!!!!
Went to the doctor's today. The lady took one look at my throat and said "oh god"
Too much penis in there.
I think we r still a few steps from ex sex. In fact, that's never going to happen. I'm just saying on the seething-chemical-fire-of-emotional-distress-to-post -relationship-intercourse scale, I'm closer to fucking than throttling. Progress is fun.
all I know is this drummer better stop eye fucking me while he plays cowbell. it is way too early for that.
It's nice out. . But after I almost put a bag of chips in the microwave to make nachos. ..I figured it best to not venture too far from the couch
I don't remember anything but bad decisions last night
Randomize
