I think I'm maturing; i was gonna watch porn and then take a nap but i motivated myself to put my laundry in first.
just hang any plant up and call it mistletoe.
Law school is ruining my masturbation schedule.
I'm in the bar bathroom about to pass out. But it's ok cause I set my alarm to go off for last call.
I tried. Now my legs are bleeding and I cracked my head on the coffee table. Never taking your advice again.
I feel like everytime I call him he's either fucking or getting into trouble. It's really disturbing that he presses the answer button and then proceeds to fuck her harder.
My New Years Resolution is to get everyone to start talking like a 40 year old douchebag. From now on, you will only refer to me as Chief.
I don't know. I just thought I'd put my drinks in my bag and go on an adventure. Like a drunk Bilbo Baggins.
that is either the most profound and meaningful thing i've ever heard, or someone got high before noon again.
Just had a flashback of scottish man yellin' at my face. What the fuck I did?
I woke up this morning fully clothed with a dart in my pocket
I was so high I just stared at the papa john's app on my phone and cried
Brother gave me a harry potter philosophy book for xmas we need to get stoned and talk about this.
It's difficult when the romantic and the hedonist in me are fighting. I want him to respect me and hopefully pursue an actual relationship, but then I remember he fucks like a GOD and loves my kink. Oh, life's hard.
why yes, bad decisions will be made starting at 3PM Thurs through 8PM on Sun. You have been warned. Plan accordingly.
Randomize
