big game today.. looking forward to seeing that magic win, and then i will celebrate with a nude dip in lake Eola.. anyone else in??
hooked up with a girl who spoke elfish last night..what up 8th grade lord of the rings fantasies
Is it bad to go up to the security desk and ask them for the name of the guy I signed in last night? I have absolutley no clue
Are you absolutely against sleeping in your car? Because i've done that before.
His fuck buddy just got fake tits and wants him to 'come break them in.' I need his life.
I think I broke a hole in her wall trying to do backflips
Good news: I actually puked in my bathroom, the vomit from the living room was actually from someone else.
That's horrible but hilarious
I'm going to miss college.
There was a slutty maid costume on the floor when I woke up, but the house was trashed. Either she's been fired or got promoted, I'm not sure which.
Dollars spent: $83, Girls kissed: 4, Girls slept with:2, Girls currently making me breakfast: 1, Fucks given: 0
lol I'll trade you jello for a tampon
what a trade!
If I die write a nice eulogy and bury me with my star wars bobbleheads
Fuck it, I'm going to make my own dick pic album since iOS 10 won't do it for me.
It's only 9 and these two girls are already walking around Walmart barefoot and holding their heels. WE NEED TO STEP IT UP.
I just feel weird about accepting their wedding invite when I've got a post-engagement video on my phone of him jacking off in my bathroom.
I went next door to get a can opener from them. They opened the door shirtless, asked me if I wanted to a smoke a joint with them. Then decided to make blueberry smoothies. But the yogurt in the blender & the berries, got confused when the berries blended into the yogurt and just kept adding more. Only stopped when we ran out of berries.
Randomize
