what's the vibe there?
extraordinary amounts of gine
Get this. Chipped my front tooth taking a sip of a gay mans beer out of my cleavage. Fuck my fucking life. that'll be fun to explain to my dentist
I was very proud of myself that day. I had an awesome time. I don't care if I negatively impacted others.
thanks for the 52 voicemails of you and crystal reciting the pleg of allegance
The bouncer called to give me my shoes back when I got there he said " I'm all cool with fuvking bitches but when you try to to do it in my bar on the pool table you're gonna get chocked out every time"
At least you got your shooes
So the name of the kid from the sponsor a child comercial popped into my head while I was masturbating this morning. Needless to say I will now be now be donating out of guilt.
We told her to calm down. She said "I'm Buddha!". Then army crawled to the cooler for more vodka.
I've never had goosebumps on my dick before. It was definitely not a bad feeling.
TSA literally pulled two bottles of whiskey out of my bag. Once he saw the leopard print socks and the mickey mouse tank, he put it back in my bag and said "Have a fun trip, man."
You had me at "let me see your balls"
I already tell everyone in my office my bf is at the Naval academy. It slipped one time and I can't go back on it now
Seriously, he's as bad as Joffrey. I hope this ends like Game Of Thrones did.
It's one of the few times I hit fuck it levels of not caring
You carved your initals into all my vitamins and said "now a small part of me will be in you every morning" before you fell asleep with my thong on your head.
No he doesn’t answer my texts except for like on New Year’s Because like I was fucked up on New Year’s and he said happy new year and I told him the same and I called him dragonslayer and you can’t really recover from that
Randomize
