btw ... thanks for not giving me up as the craigslist killer
i owe you one
thanks for snagging those panties for me
he said he didn't have a condom.
and you said?
that that's fine cause i was ready to be a mom. yeah - he magically had a condom he forgot about after that.
i googled "where to have sex in disneyland." i found nothing.
I just learned in bio that our sole purpose for life is to have sex.. so your high number is acceptable. its actually lacking.
I'll be a little late, "getting ready for the party" turned into "smoking a bowl and doing lines in my room for an hour and a half." But I'm on my way now. With coke. And weed.
It was like the perfect storm of bad decisions.
you are never too drunk for berry picking
I didn't know where we were going to start fucking, so I just strategically hid condoms all over the house before he came over.
Jerry got outside again, i found him making dirt angels in the garden. I need to put a bell on that bastard.
I JUST SEARCHED GINGER COCK ON TUMBLR AND THEY'RE ALL REALLY WELL HUNG? I'M CRYING. IS THIS HOW GINGERS KEEP REPRODUCING?
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU?
Whatever the emoticon is for "balls deep". That.
Hydrocodon makes you feel like a fairy made out of pudding
Maybe because you rubbed my clit while we were making churros
You should of known that i was high if i refer to myself as melting into anything
Well now you know... If you can get over the awkward... The dick is 10 min away.
Randomize
