Thong +tight pants =hungry butt. Not a good look on big women! Walmart sucks.
finally cleaned my dorm for the first time all year. bleach is awesome.
I just randomly started counting the number of guys that I've hooked up with that are now gay. 11.
Things found in my vomit last night: cell phone, Von Hayes rookie card, a boot, my dignity
we were boning in the bathroom when her boyfriend came upstairs. I wish i could remember what happened next more clearly, because it had to have been hilarious
I cant yet im literally covered in lube but I will later
Sometimes I send them texts like "I want to make you cry and lick up your tears" just to fuck with them. And THAT is how you get rid of a Stage 5 clinger.
I made him an O's fan. One pic of my tits coming out of a Baltimore shirt and it was done.
With a breakfast like weed and a fun size twix before a dentist appointment you can see exactly how I handle being an adult
I just saw a stripper light her nipples on fire. Im terrified and impressed all at the same time
That guy is like a clown car of sexy. Just when I think I've seen it all, THERE'S MORE.
AND SOME IN THE TRUNK.
We have GOT to stop getting stoned and going out for expensive dinners.
Xanax and full house Tuesday is now Percocet Sunday
No, it's okay that he's on a date. I attach no more emotion to him than I do my vibrator.
I THINK HE DOES. OMG!!!!! OMG I FUCKED A GUY W A FAKE LEG AND I DIDN'T EVEN KNOW!!!!!!????!!!!!!!!!
Randomize
