the taste of these tagalongs is totally worth boning that creepy troop leader chick...
I was so high i started crying when i saw how much puppychow was there.
let's skip the party, and just play drunken wii, again. its time to give my vag a break.
Banged a lazy eyed chick last night. It was like fucking an iguana.
If it makes you feel better, I doubt anything could survive in your uterus.
I should have taken pre-gaming this lunch date more seriously.
Uh oh I Hage to dance yes, my feet are Whitney Houston
The entire time I'm blowing him she's in the back seat lecturing me on the reasons why you're not suppose to do that while they're driving...
But today feels so special with katie getting herpes and me cleaning my room. Good things are happening.
Grandma is giving me marriage advice again. On the plus side, she thinks I'm straight now.
Sorry I didn't answer your call last night, I was peeing on the driveway.
Yeah but then I feel like it's worth it like bro you just stabbed me the least you can do is get me a fuckin otter pop.
How do I ask where the Jello shot cups are at Walmart without sounding like white trash?
Our first crop came in on the day that they added Hercules to Netflix Instant, I think it's the universe telling us that it approves of us growing shrooms in our guest room.
Hope everything goes ok. If it makes you feel better, I straightened vomit into my hair and killed a bird earlier.
Randomize
