I mean i stumbled out of the club yelling at random people" I"M GOING TO TEACH YOUR KIDS SOMEDAY!!"
And thats what homeschooling is for
She called me her ex's name in a supermarket. How boring am I that she livens up shopping by thinking of another guy?
i just wasnt prepared to have the baby of one of two french firemen. threesomes are too confusing.
This is the first time since last march I'm gonna be going to a class for more reasons than wanting to bone the girl sitting next to me.
We are casual work acquaintances that occasionally fuck when the urge strikes. CWATOFWTUS. I know FWB rolls off the tongue better but it is what it is.
im just laying here pukin in my mouth and swallowing it 'cause im WAY too lazy to actually get up and find a place to vomit. this is my life now.
Just peed on my foot. Thank you Sunday hangovers.
I can HEAR him staring at your boobs.
Stoned in a petco on a Saturday. I figured out that ferrets can eat themselves out. Just picture it. Never leaving.
I tried getting kicked out of my favorite bar. No matter what I did, I could do no wrong
They need to eat meat, go down on me the first time, every time, and know how to pull my hair. And there's a height requirement for this ride
I didn't even mind that he came early I just wanted to get eaten out and cuddle
I probably shouldn't be taking relationship advice from my side piece...
It's not even a normal fucking affair I've found myself in. It's a fucking bdsm clusterfuck.
We were playing fuck marry kill and he was eavesdropping so I said I would fuck him
It was like catching dick in a barrel
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