In the future we'll all be gay
It's fine actually... I'm pretty sure he had the crookedest weiner in the world anyway.
Like he had it hanging in the wind and you just decided, "nope, I don't think that one's for me." ????
God no! I could just feel it. His clock said it was 8:00 when, clearly, it should have been midnight.
looks like were buying each other an abortion for our one year present...
the last thing i remember is you screaming lets hunt humans.
Have you ever looked at the 750mL bottle of wine on the seat next to you knowing that it's just not going to be enough?
Each and every day.
That fucking fat Asian kid that NOBODY invited is stuck in the dryer again
Hooking up with him would mean my type has officially become... drug dealer.
winnie the pooh came out of nowhere and offered me a burrito...it was a fucking amazing burrito.
She cracked her neck before the blowjob and I knew shit just got real.
Plus now I feel weird sleeping with you. It's like shooting a three legged deer. It's already at a disadvantage and couldn't get what it's full potential deserves.
I'm glad you enjoyed the night but why were you calling me "daddy"?
Pretty sure keeping my vibrator in the same drawer with the weed makes it work better. I fall asleep almost immedi
Sorry 4 always trying to rope you into my sexual exploits
We get up to three toppings. Dignity is not one of them.
who knew being a fake dominatrix could be so fun?
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