I hope that the reason I've been psycho on him is that I'm pregnant and not just psycho.
the fucking easter bunny is here. he just made 3 cups in a row. no one knows who he is..
"I never want to have to say, 'Please don't squirt me with your breast milk' again.
It's amazing the difference a day and 2000 mg of antibiotic make. Nine days to go.
There was a suspicious looking plate that suggests I may have eaten salad with gravy
My neighbor caught me peeing on his rose bushes at 2 in the morning while wearing my Santa hat. My sex appeal has never been higher.
Purse pizza: the pizza you buy before the club, and you eat on the train home. I thought you knew me by now!
Gregs sitting in the living room in his underwear hitting the bong watching a rob schneider movie. His lack of fuck giving is inspirational
I did way too many drugs this past week for having a broken nose #commitment
HOW CAN YOU EXPECT ME TO KEEP YOUR SECRETS IF YOU KEEP ON TELLING ME THEM.
Teach me the ways of your demonic sorcery.
Sundays were made for eating Ramen pantless in bed.
Of course I fucked him. He was wearing a rainbow cock sock and cowboy boots.
You peed in the sink and kept shouting "I'm the black swan! Ca-caw!"
just played fuck the dealer and thunderstruck with my physics ta. he is the third ta that i have drank with this semester, i think i'm getting good at college
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