Srsly this has gone to far. Just broke my nose on the toilet. College bars.
dont worry it didnt get any better. she locked herself in his room and was screaming at the top of her lungs "IM GUNA PEE ON YOUR BED"
apologized to him about 10 times for being drunk. told him about 15 times that he was "really pretty"
You have to wear the princess leia gold bikini every Sunday
THIS IS THE EMERGENCY BOOZE SYSTEM. I AM EN ROUTE TO DEWITT WITH A FIFTH OF TEQUILA. THIS IS NOT A TEST
Their engagement party consisted of them doing shots, yelling at each other, leaving for 30 minutes, and coming back with smiles.
I'd say they're off to a great start!
I had so much drainage I couldn't moan properly. Fuck allergy season
shes on the ground doing bicycle kicks screaming "is my ass good enough for you now satan" send help
Brah, we should get a "do not disturb sign"... I can't have people knocking on the door while I'm high, it fucks with me way too much.
He compared my ass to "a 13 year old track star's ass." Umm WTF? Is that supposed to be a compliment? And when I questioned boy or girl he said "either."
Fuck you know you drunk when you start signing the Masson impossjvke song to entourage yourself to pee
you know you need to get laid when: getting wrestled to the ground in a self-defense class turns you on....p.s. this is a booty call
Don't EVER mix a flaming shot, with a Jello shot.. As good as it sounds flaming Jello is not a good idea
It’s the universal cock block of this decade
FUCK THE COCKBLOCK 19
So I tried to catch a rabbit in Terraria & accidentally blew it up with a grenade made of bees. Monty Python would be proud.
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