champagne bombs. Yes, i think that is where things may have gotten out of control.
nothing like a negative hiv test and a bag of condoms to brighten my day.
Apparently I kept telling the bartender that I was going to set the Guinness World Record.
What happened?....
He lifted up the blanket, and whispered "Don't do it" to his sperm....
I am sitting on the floor by my oven watching my cookie dough blossom. This is a whole new level of fat
That drug basically just makes anything that's in your mouth awesome
it was literally the size of a crayloa marker. i didnt know what to do with it so i just sat there
I'm a little nervous about this St. Patty's Day party. Seriously, we're still finding stuff from the Halloween party.
#1 benefit of having an equality sticker on my car: some girl flashed me while i was driving home
I've woken up in some weird places in my lifetime, but never in a tent in my own garage.
he just looked at me, said "i think i'll keep you around, you put the seat back up and everything," and then burst into tears.
Dude best one night stand i woke she was cleaning our fridge while waiting for the cab to show
Everyone else in class agrees the weed smell is coming from me
We were coming but I found wine on my way out the door.
I hooked up with a guy named Quan.. I literally hit the Quan
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