If a guy called my cleavage "mesmerizing" but is kinda related to me, does it still count?
when I woke up the last searched thing on my phone was "how to make a fireproof dress" I need to stop drinking.
life just isnt the same w/o real world cancun
chastity bono is officially a man...and has a really hot girlfriend...life doesn't make sense
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
vodka and carrot juice, if im gonna drink i at least got my 8 servings of vegetable
I love memorial day. It's drinking in the name of patriotism. God Bless America
yeah he was eating me out and i didnt know someone made popcorn so I thought the smell was comming from my vagina
wtf
The last time you said "no one will know" is when you ran out of sprite at your birthday party and dumped a handle of straight up vodka into the jungle juice.
Apparently campus cops frown on lighting a joint off of the eternal flame on Jerry Falwell's grave...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
DONT EVER DUNK OREOS INTO WINE . NEVER
it wasn't until he got that douchey haircut that i started regretting sleeping with him
The smell came through my closed door. His farts are made of rendered tires, and apparently, ghosts.
Haha. Maybe he's one of those feminine men who fucks like a god then makes you fantastic crepes afterwards
I ate pizza in bed, sans pants, and then carved a pumpkin. FUNCTIONING ADULT MOTHERFUCKERS!
Being severely attracted to someone you find is your cousin just made my list of top 10 worst feelings
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