At an apparent methhead hillbilly bar and was smiling for a pic when one toothless wonder screamed "look at all them teeth"!
I just found 22 drunken videos and 4 naked pictures on my phone. We'll start the bidding at $5
she was so "full of love" from watching twilight that she came over and gave me a handjob. when does the next movie come out?
Guy passed out in the lobby with a keychain sharpie hanging from his belt loop. 1 guest came in and wrote on him, then others saw and got in line. I'm not waking him up.
I just fell off my chair and knocked over the table. People are staring. That hungover.
He was supposed to take me to a nice dinner, but istead all he did was get drunk and throw lit fireworks at me.
Didn't I tell you I have developed a shameless theory about farting anywhere and everywhere? I'm too pretty so no one suspects me.
I bet it kind of sucks while you do community service I'm getting blown in the shower. haha
They better not charge my debit card for what you peed on.
It's fucking New Year's. I can be soberish in 2013 after tonight. It's like the 30 years of grey area between Jesus' birth and death.
That was when I yelled "Wisconsin powers activate!" and took off sprinting across the ice
In retrospect i can confidently say that the last two months of our relationship... i was only in it because i didnt wanna lose my list on his netflix account.
She gave me a boner for the first time in 9 years.
Good morning! Spongebob is on channel 257 when you wake up. Help yourself to breakfast. You were great last night. See you when I get back.
they were drunk. and loud. and now they're drunk and quiet. or dead, you never know.
Randomize
