Being pregnant is so damn inconvenient for my sex life.
Those 2 guys from the sonic commercial will be virgins for life.
A female Wisconsin fan just headbutted the bouncer. Im deeply terrified and oddly aroused at the same time.
The problem with having your drunkeness documented at a wedding is not only does it show up all over facebook, but all over professional photography websites.
She was holding a turtle doing a beer bong out of a flower watering can.
I had a nursing patient tell me that her favorite drink was vodka and ensure...called it a colorado bulldog
I think these people may actually be nudists. You know it's bad when I feel uncomfortable.
I want everyone to love me, and THEN I will choose who gets to eat me out all the time.
Lets ignore the fact that you want to turn your dorm room into a sex dungeon and focus on the real issues here.
It's like my uterus needs a hug... and anti depressants
Had to snap chat three different people to ask who left the bite mark on my thigh. All three said "Wasn't me". Now I can't wear a bathing suit to my mom's pool.
The cop said he like my hair today. Please explain all other interactions with law enforcement, k thanks
His Instagram is like a gay porn blog all of the sudden got conquered by the Mormon missionary that he is
but if we have a President Trump come Tuesday, I might throw myself off the Walt Whitman Bridge so Thursday might not work for me after all.
I just had the polyamorous Canadian hockey player do the splits while naked in a handstand at my apartment just now. And yes, I know it’s 1:30am on a Thursday.
Randomize
