fighting downstairs. join me tonight to hear their makeup sex. also, let's make skittles vodka.
We'll cross that bridge when we come to it... Or burn it. Either way we'll deal with it later
I just told a dude I hooked up with last night he was the pick of the litter.
Lets start the night off early. Those Coronas arent going to throw themselves up.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We agreed to not shave eyebrows when someone is passed out. douchebag.
I just had a Brazilian done for this guy. He's getting first-date sex whether he wants it or not.
My friend just ordered a beer and poured it on the floor in celebration of open bar night
I know you don't remember, but the teeth marks on my face say it happened.
You were basically naked. Just covered in pink duck tape and feathers. I'd have to say this is beyond the slutty mark..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
yeah, i found the sharpie that everyone use to sign my tits last night. its dead.
I'm washing down the sadness with shots of vodka.
He also told me he would eat mozzarella sticks before having sex with me so I'm mad at him.
Why is there a slipper full of piss in my bedroom?
Hey kevin, it's Ashlee. I have been trying to get ahold of you. Your pledge gave me your number. I really wanted to apologize for shitting in your car I'll buy new upholstery or pay to have it shampooed if needed. I'm so embarrassed.
Last night you were throwing up in my toilet singing "all by myself."
Randomize