If that was your dad, he is hot
Btw the nut in my hair goes great with my outfit !!! :(
If you're missing hair this morning, i'm sorry in advance
I don't know what he did but now I'm terrified of mustache rides and it's only movember 3rd
It was perfect I came I passed out in his comfortable bed then a glass of jack Daniels fell from the bed post and spilled all over my face
I've done nothing but whore my gay ex bf out for the past 48 hours. It's getting weird.
I wish your snatch was here
If my snatch could sprout wings I'd fly to you
Question: If I got in a car accident and lost my memory of us, would you work your way back just so we could be fuck buddies again?
I'm watching The Vow and just need to know that I'm loved in some way
Shotgunning beers to finish a midterm project at 3am is a good idea right?
Just make it a game! Like 20 questions STD style.
I used an emoji to tell him I was pregnant. I should feel bad about that, right?
Just a reminder- you dropped broccoli in my car and then felt bad for it and named him Henry
I know. I miss henry.
What the fuck were you guys talking about?
Lube wrestling.
Oh, makes sense.
For the love of god, if any of you are up, bring me pants.
She asked me to tell her the three words every girl wants to hear so I whispered "I play hockey" in her ear.
Randomize
