somehow in between the body shots the bong hits and trying to convince the 7-11 lady to let me fill up my vodka bottle with cherry slurpee. i misplaced my car.
Her parents hate her and she's on like major lockdown. All her friends are in jail and she has massive pit stains. Dude... It doesn't get much worse than that.
soo apparently i was out of money so i stayed in the bathroom for an hour-ish passing out paper towels for money..needless to say i got kicked out
I found the pot of gold last night, and it was full of bad decisions.
Still trying to wash and scratch the glitter off of my dick. That stripper should be banned.
He met a random girl on the bus home and decided to go to Spain with her. The blackout decisions are becoming internationally epic. He has work in the morning.
I THINK I JUST JOINED A GANG. PLEASE PICK ME UP.
I vaguely remember taking a yard light, holding it up like the statue of liberty, and all of us at the party chanting the national anthem. What a glorious night
I have a half pound of weed, a case of beer, 8 frozen pizzas and a hard dick. You have a high tech super-bong and a chest of sex toys. That's our vacation week right there.
he'll always be the guy that i fucked on the bathroom floor
We had sex last night...... This "Friends" thing is going well.
I missed you last night. I'm sure he will never forget the night i sang my heart will go on into his penis like a microphone
Got caught up in a real life love triangle. Both guys wanted me. I'm tempted to just run off with the cute girl from McDonalds instead
Please do that
my roommates gone so i can take codeine and sleep naked
I will warn you that there is a pic of me riding a buffalo....and for the record, I was completely sober!!
Randomize
