you turned on the Care Bears movie at 5am and kept screaming "I CARE"
I'll hook up with guys I don't even like, as long as they leave early enough the next day.
They're all gay and their wifi network is named HOMOS. I want to live with these people.
i don't remember but I assumed it was bad when I woke up with directions from his house to mine already pulled up on my phone
she went apple picking. why dont we do cute things like that? let's go to a pumpkin patch!
because we're not cute. we're sluts. and sluts don't go apple picking.
I brought up my Bobbly Flay drinking game in the interview. Of course I got the job.
One blow job doesn not make me gay.
he laminated a picture of his dick.
Chelsea passed out in the kiddie pool. Just added around 28 boxes of jello powder. Will let you know how it works out
1 be hot 2 flirt with everyone 3 use hotness to make people do things for you. It's a simple model.
By the end of the night I was using him as a leg rest and he was handing me pizza rolls when I wiggled my hand. It's a proven method.
Tried to drunkenly hop a fence with my cast on to get away from the cops but ended up falling over a bench.. how do I explain those bruises to my parents?
Novelty of the week: Getting my lipstick back in an evidence bag
No it was fine, I've just never seen that many people eat dog food
Pretty good. Thinking about getting day drunk and filling out job applications so I don't hate myself as much
A friendship for the ages born on how horny we both are
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