Not everyone can get ass. Some people are good at building rockets. You’re good at sleeping with many men. It’s an art.
she called my cock the "semen sword" and then we invented a position called excalibur
he held my hand while i was giving him head. freud's gotta be turning over in his grave
Just try to lay there and not be pregnant.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I woke up with glitter in my wounds.
No one would take shots with Caroline so she asked the bartender for like 20 jagerbombs and then shouted "JAGERBOMBS FOR HOMELESS ANIMALS BENEFIT" and everyone started doing them with her
i cant believe im seriously wearing his ex girlfriends underwear right now
I just dumped bong water and Bacardi out of my purse into the trash can. Everything in my purse is soaked. I hate Sundays.
Why am I wearing a dog collar
Only way we could keep you from running in to traffic.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Gotta get new sheets. ..I fucked the satin off mine.
I think tonight's gonna be the night I wear a go pro while trippin on acid
We poured all the Fireball on the Slip and Slide and long story short I have two black eyes.
he drove over two hours to fuck me and came in 3 minutes. he got mad when I asked him if it was worth it...
Then you fell out of your chair, looked right at me and said, "You are sooo drunk."
He saw my Halloween/ Costume closet and assumed I’m into cosplay. I’m going with it. What’s sexier, a cop or a nurse?
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