she would be the type to have more hair on her twat than on her head
she has to be all "alternative"
We found your brother, passed out, floating in our pool, with a bottle, on a blow up mattress. How did he mange to walk 2 blocks and get into our backyard?
Transgendered man at work dawning a slutty batman costume. I hate Halloween
if that's jizz on my steering wheel i'm gonna be pissed...and impressed.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sorry for feeding you peanuts last night while you were sleeping, you looked hungry.
Whiskey + Water + Crystal Lite does NOT = refreshing summer time drink.....
Could someone please explain the rug burn on the right side of my face and do I need a shot of penicillin?
I'm pretty sure this city writes new vice laws specifically because of us.
I'm imagining a seal in an ugly shirt hahahahaha Percocet
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm on the toilet with no toilet paper. When are you coming over? I'm contemplating on just staying here until you arrive.
I am a figure skater. You should know better than to let me get drunk near any patches of ice during Olympics season.
YO I WASNT TRYING TO MAKE A PASS AT YOU.... Or Jesus
I know it's 10:30am but Finding Dory starts in an hour, and I have four points of molly. You down?
Apparently I handcuffed myself to the dishwasher...
Found someone cuddling with my Uggs this morning. Guess the hundred pillows laying next to him weren't good enough.
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