thx for the lesson on dirrty dancing
Step 1: drink. 2: drink more. 3: go for it. 4a: success. 4b: drink more. 5. drink. 6. go for other girls. 7. drink more. Sound good?
I know I'm not the first to fuck in a park but i deserve props for doing it at 3pm. On a sunny day might I add.
She cheated on me with the same state trooper that wrote me a ticket.
I guess now you have a way to keep your license when you bring that up in court.
Dude, you are the most awesome.
Looks like breakfast in bed is out the window. She can't get up because I "fucked her into paralysis." My stomach is not happy with my dick right now
WHY ARE THERE NO BLACK EMOJIS? I CAN NEVER PROPERLY IDENTIFY MYSELF.
The object of the game was to pour tequila into a sombrero and drink as much as you can before it leaked through, 'Big Papi' won.
If I get a 4.0 I am doing SO much cocaine.
You yell at me for giving you beer but not for licking spilled beer off your chest.
Just had to double check that I had pants on. THAT kind of weekend.
Do you ever have one of those days when your breasts are just fucking awesome?
I don't care how hot she was. She didn't like Scooby Doo and I don't fuck with that.
Hurricane Harvey ruined my dick appt. WTF?!
Somehow, you looked so classy chugging that bottle of wine last night.
Officially not baby mama #3. Celebration is in order.
Randomize
