Something clean will definitely be barfed on tomorrow.
I just took a girl with a hip brace and crutches on a date. she obviously can't bone. is it rude to demand a blowjob?
We can make salsa ya know, maybe even some hot sauce. That doesn't mean we're married.
do you know how hard it is to sit through a 3 hour movie with someone and not fuck them?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
fell asleep with the bong in the pool, weirdest tan line ever
Dude I broke my bong in half this morning. I kicked it as I was jerking off. I would never hide anything from you.
i was laying in her brothers bed, in his old room. and i kept getting the chills. i didn't know if it was a draft or the ghosts of BJ's past.
I found out why they kept calling her "CD". It was short for "Crab Dip". You're fucked.
YOU NEED TO STOP BLOWING DUDES ON MY COUCH AT MY PARTIES
YOU NEED TO STOP PROVIDING TEQUILA AT YOUR PARTIES
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
His dick looks just like him, taller than average, thick, and somehow always angry.
just bought myself a "your about to get violated in every way so you deserve this chipotle" steak bowl.
are you fucking roseanne barr in there?
my liver is dry heaving
Ur betting me $100 that I can't do ur sister?
One can only be this extremely wet once a year and I feel like I'm bitch slapping god by not using this gift he has bestowed on me.
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