Quoting wale wont save you from herpes
im so bored in class... i just made a pie graph of my favorite bars and a bar graph of my favorite pies
I wonder if u can grow weed on Framville and sell it to Mafia Wars?
Long story short, the rash from your last birthday party told me not to go to this one.
I will come over now to take full advantage of you in your vulnerable state.
Fine. I should warn you I just threw up in danas fish tank. Fish are dead. Livers dead. I smell and look like a dead animal. And not showering. So deal with it.
Good news, I found your other leg warmer. Bad news, I don't know if the pile of puke I found it in was yours.
She kept sniffing my sweater and tried to guess what type of detergent I use.
I FEEL like I celebrated someone's 21st, but really I just celebrated Tuesday.
Like, what's the customary waiting period to hookup with your newly single ex that you never stopped hooking up with?
Somehow I got food poisoning AND alcohol poisoning in the same night. Its like everything I love is trying to kill me. I'm waiting for my tv to make its move.
I don't know how it happened. All I did was tell her I was impressed by her presentation. Her nail marks on my back ain't going away anytime soon.
Why even have a ground level apt if you're not gonna let me climb out the window? I hate walk of shaming in front of toddlers...
What did you two do last night and why did Sam send me a picture of your dick?
I wore a shirt that says "more tequila" to my bday party last year and that's why I want to be my own friend
You don't know the true meaning of fear until your girlfriend's niece insists on sitting on your lap with 20 mg of Viagra coursing through your veins.
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