just witnessed a squirrel raping another squirrel. i couldn't look away.
just saw Chris Hanson on the street. looked immediately around for video cameras. why is that my immediate reaction?
Warning...her vagina is big, like sleeping bag big.
She has 2500 facebook friends. I probably should have used a condom.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I thought his dick was headless. then I pulled back the foreskin.
I just peed in the Schreyer honors college shrubbery. Thanks honors students, you're finally good for something
She keeps telling me I can't keep feeding the dog my food. I gave half the weed brownie to the dog and half to me. I just want it to taste the greatness of cheezits like I am.
He followed me on twitter after I posted a drunk screen shot of a tweet. It's like he gave me permission to stalk him on a whole different level.
All he did was like my Instagram picture and I'm already planning how to turn down sex with him this weekend...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just did a booty-call caliber shave job in preparation for this weekend. Fuck being ladylike; I'm tryna get LAID-ylike
Every time you mention the threesome around him I will high five you. Do what you will with this information.
Then he said,"I love you like a sister I like to have sex with."
You're too drunk for my bullshit, and i'm too sober to put up with yours. I have no idea how you expect to find middle ground here.
I remember is someone saying "I smell weed" and then having a room full of sober high school kids look at me.
You ever fart so hard it made you cum a little? A "friend of mine" wanted to know.
Randomize