You poured sparks in your panties and NOW you're wondering why you have a UTI?
No, i'm not gonna let you give me a footjob on the floor of the cheesecake factory. C'mon.
So I was just looking through the calendar on my phone seeing what day new years was on & on dec 31st at 9am it says "nude champagne toast". Guess we have to do it.
I JUST SHOOK HIS GRANDMOTHER'S HAND. WITH COCK HANDS. THIS IS NOT FUNNY.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You need to tell your booty call to take some sudafed or something. I swear I thought you were humping Kermit the frog last night
i like to finish this college football season knowing that not once have I had to masturbate to erin andrews
I'm not embarrassed about the lap dance. I'm embarrassed for the singing during.
Our idea of a "deep conversation" was successfully forming complete sentences.
I hope my shame shaped pee stain outside your door goes away soon.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like every picture I upload of him on facebook where you can see his purity ring, I should make the caption "something in this picture does not belong"
Also, any YOLOwl-related sex photos will result in you winning ten orgasms, courtesy of myself, as well as sweets and bacon-based dinner. All entrants welcome
Do you think it's safe to mix miralax with a tequila sunrise?
We played Rock Paper Scissors to see who would have to go down on the other person.
Come home... I’m drinking and playing with knives
I called him my big strong man today. It's all downhill from here. Matching Christmas sweaters, here we come
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