***** fucked a guy with one hand last night
Im handcuffed to some kid i hardly know. there are no cops involved
do you remember putting condoms over both your hands and asking me if your fists would be too big.
Remember when the only STD we had to worry about were hickies? Those were the days
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ohh man do you know how awkward it is to keep eye contact and have a normal conversation with someone while their hand is in your vagina?
Just paid off my possession ticket on 4/20. Helloooo awesome.
he just kept texting even after we lit his shoelaces on fire. he just calmly walked into the pool... still texting.
I feel like I missed the land of milk and honey and instead wound up in the land of beer and pizza. And yet, I think I'm happier here.
she fell THROUGH the wall. All in all id have to say that my neighbors where pretty chill about it tho.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Way to go. Now you have no beer and I have a cold tit.
We were like one big happy Eskimo family.
Only I would get an underage 24 hours before turning 21.
THEY LEFT ME IN A CLUB BY MYSELF. I’M SO ANNOYED. I’M GOING TO FUCK THEIR BARTENDER FRIEND. Caps only because I’m really mad.
You wanna explain to me why there is a banana shoved down my pants?
i was sitting on the kitchen floor shaking my gallon of vodka at people and asking if they wanted to climb the heaven hill... getting dumped is the best thing that has ever happend to me
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