bras are like tupperware for tits, keeps em fresh.
you don't understand, he speaks spanish and is tall. i have to do him.
Dude I need help. What word is complimentary, but sounds like "chunky"?
I just couldn't help myself when there was a FOUNTAIN OF SHOTS
You can't say "they have anal bleaching for that" and then just hang up
I hope they realize that to me "collecting their mail" is synonymous with "fucking in every room in their house, and twice in the party shower."
A homeless man just asked me if I had seen any "nekkid chicks with heineken bottles run by"
Berkeley was the right choice
Just saw an all male dolphin threesome from underwater viewing
Stalker pic that shit
He left, I think he got uncomfortable when I started singing 'oompah oompah doodley do, I have a special riddle for you'
My penis is saying yes, several less important organs are saying noo...
Home-made laxative recipe: activia yogurt and tequila shots. Any ratio ought to work.
As we have told you before, the first rule of hook-up bingo is we don't talk about hook-up bingo
He was making a joke about signing my name on this piece of paper. He has a whole bucket filled with names on pieces of paper. I think thats how he keeps count.
i just took a huge shit in old main. i think my college bucketlist is finished.
I woke up with a treasure map drawn on my ass. Whattt.
Randomize
