i feel like im doing the pre-walk of shame..like every car that drives by is like, ooooo look at that girl, in that itty bitty dress, yep shes about to get her skank on tonight...
I take no responsibility of who alcohol hooks up with using my body!
We drove past his house blaring "Like a virgin" in the middle of the day. pretty sure he heard.
Found crayons in my cigarette pack. I can't help but feel you may be responcible.
Apparently she came home completely covered in mud, pretending to be a bird...and she still had more sex than any of us this weekend.
He was trying to be aggressive in bed, but in reality, it was like watching a declawed cat try to climb a curtain. They WANT it, they just can't DO it.
It was either the harsh truths I was divulging or the liquor..... But either way, I made mom puke
He said it. He actually said "yes it's in".
Definitely just found that pen in the microwave. What the fuck.
The forecast for tonight is alcohol and low expectations.
You're the only meteorologist I listen to.
I drank so much that my feet don't feel like my feet
If he sends me a dick pic so help me god.
Just saw the pics from the bachelor party. When the hell did we go to southie. And why was there a chicken in the limo..? You guys really are my best friends.
I don't know how I managed to chip the inside of my tooth w/ a turkey and cheeto sandwich, but I think that's what happened.
I'm sorry, a turkey and WHAT sandwich?!?!
When the paramedic asked Logan how he fell he explained that he was trying to lick his eyeball, missed and tripped over his own tongue.
Randomize
