Like my Aunt Merial always says ... big dicks, big dicks.
I'm having one of those days where I just want to lay in bed and beat off all day
Yeah I'm gunna date him. I figure its regular sex and maybe feelings will come in time...it worked for arranged marriages...
Definitely just said "no homo" to our gay waiter at Cheesecake Factory...our service has steadily declined since.
Who faxed a picture of their penis to the office printer?!
No, my body just knows its the weekend and wants to rage. Very different from alcoholism
Stripper pole. Sore legs. More vaca money.
Who is he, asking me if im dtf without a question mark
...
So we have also come to the conclusion that slam piece Saturday's are the appropriate follow ups to find a husband Fridays
Im having a st. Get way fucked till i speak Irish pre game party. Bring a compass cause we are about to get lost
I think id rather titty fuck an A cup than deal with what happened tonight again. shits depressing
I'm pretty sure that's why we have such good sex because we are secretly trying to kill each other
AHHHHHHHHH. I LEFT A GLASS NEXT TO ME WHEN I FELL ASLEEP I'M SO SURE IT WAS WATER BUT NOW IT'S VODKA JESUS MADE A STOP
I was writing 'DISTRACTION' across my chest in Sharpie when my boob fell out. Right on camera.
i'm currently watching a guy eat a bunch of cacti and i have lost all faith in humanity
**cactuseses
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