is it a bad sign that i now think of my run-ins with cops as "skill building seminars"?
um, yeah. i think it is.
If I had a penis I would totaly hang shit off it. Like stretched out peach rings and fruit rollups.
was his dick as big as our hopes and dreams?
Yeah well margarita Wednesday already came twice this week and it's just now Wednesday
We can't bring brittanys dog so we are getting high and getting in my bathtub I think it's pretty safe
I just brought the toaster out onto the porch to light a cigarette, don't talk to me about being desperate.
We're high and this subject came up and I'd like a female opinion: if you were a dude, what would you do if a girl tried to give you a foot job?
Well u missed Autumn's newly 21 yrs old sister flashing her tits and standing on the bar last night.
You sent me snap chats of you guys having sex. Like plural. It was like flip book porn, I'm traumatized.
And if I could both stabilize myself *and* pick things up with my penis... Well, I wouldn't be on the fire dept...
This is the third year in a row that Mario has fallen through a table on New Years. I'm sensing a tradition developing.
He made me watch a sex tape him and his gf made. They were in the shower when her roommate walked in on them. Not kidding: she asked to join in.
I hate him. He gets laid, my dick gets laughed at.
I have jury duty tomorrow
I almost deep fried my finger today and yet I think you are worse off than I am.
No way hahaha I have zero intention of adding him I wanna just join in on a three some but mostly just be there for moral support and snacks
I dropped my pants and she just stared until she asked how is that even possible? Best night ever lmao
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