He's totally hot and awesome. And he's a Democrat
Good, so he won't mind when you kill the baby.
ohhh my god. this party should be titled "my hookups of summers past" be expecting some good stories tomorrow
You flung your panties at that guy you liked with an accuracy that I have never seen before.
at home by myself drinkin the left over champagne from my party... who says my birthday has to end?
the cop asked for your social security number and you gave her your high school locker combo
he said i took off my shirt and wrote "help HATI" on my tits, and charged people to motorboat me..... i'd like to say i woke up with 267$ in my purse
One of my friends found 6 bags of gummy bears on the roof. He lives a building over. Apparently even hammered you still have quite an arm
I can't begin to describe what I look like walking through the grocery store with this outfit and chocolate syrup.
Hahaha alright after 5 shots I'm not allowed to touch glass or boys with girlfriends.
i just like, need to vent to someone
Can we skip the part where I pretend to care and fast forward to the appreciative blowjob from you?
Alright, deal. Settling two drug deals before noon is what I call a productive day. I'm not even gonna go to math, I've practiced enough numbers for the day.
ok. i'm ready for you to come back and test the structural integrity of this futon.
Fuck romance. Just shaved my nipples in the shower because I felt like it. That's the life I'm about.
I am so not sober enough to have a 5 minute conversation in Spanish
To be honest. I have two poptarts in my jacket pockets. No one knows. I am pro stealth.
Randomize
