So how Liz Lemon is this? I bring a boy home, we get in bed, and I realize there's a lean pocket wrapper in the sheets.
i feel like my eyelids need a kick stand.
so i just drove past a racoon and a kid on a long board... god i love 4am white castle runs
Dude, she uses Old Spice. It smelled like I was eating out my grandfather.
well, I suppose if I had to pick a penis to represent the american public, yours would be it
i like how i just referred to his pregnant wife as the "other" melissa and you didn't even judge me.
by the way- Brandy out of a doggy bowl was AMAZING
I just saw a wasted dude crawl out of the road at 2 in the afternoon. Big question- still drunk from the weekend or hitting the soju already?
The TA leading my study session just said "now get outta here. I need to get drunk before class"
I actually cannot wait for your visit. I miss people who make me look like the virgin mary in comparison.
mike is out of commission and cannot make breakfast. he's sitting with two frozen waffles on his face & smiling like an idiot.
Jesus, I think this onesie was designed to keep me from masturbating.
Sware then you fell into me doing a Tarzan swing thing and my margherita spilled and shattered all over this guy and sice you were on the ground you tried to pull it off by twerking on the floor lmfao
Oh boy I hope we come out of this alive. And with clean prison records
My hair tie broke, stole my one-night stands daughters pink sparkly one. BEST hair-tie I have ever used...
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