i threw up in his kitchen sink and then used a measuring cup to drink water because i couldn't find a clean glass. i just threw up down the stairs. it's gonna be a long walk home.
Yes, I fucked her, no she wasn't that loose, yes she caused more drama than a 14 year old girl
Sharpest. Poop. Ever.
being a part time student has turned me into a full time alcoholic.
I like to melt taper candles in my wine bottles the next day, it makes my drinking trophies more classy, and makes me look like less of an alcoholic.
You were dancing on the bar and fell off into the arms of the hot bartender. It was like a fairy tale, with more alcohol.
I saw him walking to campus with his beer in his hand in the same sweats he wore walking to campus with a beer in his hand yesterday.
She took one look at my hardon and said, "You have a dick built for anal."
That wasn't a compliment.
Everyone here knows me as 'that chick who will most likely steal your girlfriend'. My 99% success rate tells me this name is acceptable.
the day has come. I have finally reached the point in my life where I just don't give a fuck about anything anymore. it's beautiful!
My vagina needs a break, I had to ice it with a beer bottle last night.
every day is bullshit and fuck everyone. That's my motto for the week
Good, I've got all this booze. It's intimidating to be in the room alone with it..
I THINK HE DOES. OMG!!!!! OMG I FUCKED A GUY W A FAKE LEG AND I DIDN'T EVEN KNOW!!!!!!????!!!!!!!!!
So I figured it out. There's two types of shitters. Moaners and grunters. And on occasion there's a third. It's the ill fabled grunt moaner.
Randomize
