I'm buying this stripper a house, I don't care what her name is.
So do you want to come over? ;)
Never again opening up the Pandora's box of crazy that is your vagina. Sorry.
.....so he has a son. Josh. That is not his roommate
When you want to head down the cleveland on Sunday?
What time do the bars open? I dont want to remember how bad theyre gonna lose
just came on the shower curtain. sorry housekeeping.
So my teacher figured out I made a drinking game out of her lecture. Once my drink was gone she let us out. Happy St. Patricks day class. Your welcome
My favorite part was when he stopped, looked up in the middle of performing oral sex and asked, "you did know it was Arbor Day, right?"
thats what you get for writing a paper after liquor pitchers
its only a rough draft.
My Mom printed off all of my Augusts text messages. Apparently I've been drinking WAY too much and having an intermediate drug problem. I have to go home everyw weekend for the rest of the semester
We made a bet that we had to talk like Yoda all night at the bars
Me. blonde. Sex. Dance floor.
Some guy just showed up at my door to return my bikini top. EXPLAIN NOW
the best part of christmas was when my mom opened the handcuffs that were supposed to be for jen. Surprisingly, not the most awkward situation of the day.
Doing a walk of shame at Wal-Mart at 3:30am because when I left at 11pm I was getting milk
He was my first marine! I wanna remember his name!
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