I never want to see another naked old woman again.
that girl last night was a 15
wait she was 15?
no like black jack not sure if you should hit it
You couldn't hold yourhead up but you managed to unzip my zipper. That's skill..
Obama is so hot when he ends wars.
I can't. I can't get out. He cooked me food. And made me jager bombs. And painted a glow in the dark smilie face on my boobs
I just feel as thought we should spend the day in which we celebrate relationships the same as how we started them. Drunken hook ups.
ill be fine wheb you get back. I'm gunna do real world things like washing the dishes. having to perform serious tasks brings you down.
Just found out I called my mom at six in the morning to ask where the bong was. I win.
I really shouldn't be this use to hearing "YOURE THAT GIRL?!?!"
I just did a jell-o shot with my grandmother. I can die now..
I'm still questioning who dropped me off last night. So successful wedding?
NO FUCKBOY SHALL PASS OPERATION #BITCHMODE HAS SUCCEEDED
You chugged Absolut from a beer bong. Why WOULDN'T you be a champion?
Im drunk taking pregnancy tests with this really hot girl...i dont know what is happening
Flight got cancelled. Stayed in the same hotel as the flight crew so now I can cross Sex with Pilot off the bucket list
He regularly flies into DC, so I’m going to sign him up for my Frequent Flyer program!
Randomize
