don't worry. When rigor sets in, we'll make sure to get you laid one last time.
I remember sucking his bleeding finger and then it's all black until he had his hand down my pants.
I don't know how but I have our hotel room door handle in my purse... this can not be good
so there is either a lot of blood or a lot of wine in the shower....
I cant yet im literally covered in lube but I will later
I woke up in her bed, she woke up in mine. Apparently there was a miscommunication after the 8th jager bomb.
He was wearing an Affliction shirt, a Monster hat, and he asked me for anal within 5 minutes of meeting me. Like 3 strikes and you're out, bro.
Just saw the trailer for Spike Lee's version of Oldboy. They filmed a lot of it in A's building so like every scene features a place where I had or almost had sex. If oral counts then pretty much every scene.
I completely forgot about the posting of partying pics shortly after adding my gma my dad was like grandma says your all over fb but she doesn't know how to use it. Of course I'm all over her fb. She's got 6 friends I am her newsfeed
you told me your favorite colors were "pink" "no pants" and "Mexican food"
I just almost puked & then I panicked and forced it back down because I thought I would be a waste of the apple turnover I ate.. I'm that hungover
Omg I can't even...
THE EAGLE HAS MY PANTIES. I REPEAT. THE FUCKING MASCOT HAS MY PANTIES.
HOLY SHIT. You're my hero.
I woke up at 3:30 this morning to pee. Luckily, I didn't have to travel far as I was asleep in my CLOSET on my yoga mat. Good news is I had a pillow...
don't worry dude i have your phone, text me when youre gonna come get it
The expiration date on my 40 is the same day as my 21st birthday
Randomize
