lol you are funny thanks bro I'll take you to a strip club
I don't wanna go to a strip club I'd rather get my boobs free or earn them from a series of good deeds
Ha! What's wrong with that? Hard work deserves compensation. I accept cash, checks, and boobies!
Also, the republican called me again last night. He called me dumb and ugly then begged to come over. Gosh... he knows how to make me want him...
I vaguely remember telling people they were not trash cans
she was like the girl next door.. if you lived next door to a whorehouse
seriously, i am too high for the omelet station to be playing Being For The Benefit Of Mr Kite at 7am
If a "boob" guy and an "ass" guy are discussing which you are better qualified for....just let them
I wonder if i could put a dildo on my bike seat to encourage me to exercise.
Dude your neighbors are having a garage sale. They were judging me as I walk of shamed back to my car.
You may see me wearing your shirt to class. It's because I still have the spins and I'm anticipating throwing up on it. Asshole.
I cant believe im wasting my plan b experience on this guy. I should have saved it for someone special.
Probably TMI here but I just rubbed one out while listening to thunderstruck, almost ripped my dick off.
Best line overheard at the bar: "This is the last time I'm shaving my ass for him...I mean we just broke up".
Dude, my sex life is so sad since I started having feelings.
Sleeping with just one person sucks
You thought the flashing lights were strobe lights when they were loading you into the ambulance. You asked the EMT if he had any X.
I was pretty pissed in the morning when I realized he had fucked the fake tattoo right off my chest.
Randomize
