i woke up in his bed, he had my shirt on
and high school musical 3 was playing on his lap top
I just mixed tequila and nyquil in front of dad. hes making ambulance jokes but let me tell you its DELICIOUSSS
Please sleep at your girlfriend's tonight
Why?
'Cause I wanna jack off tonight.. And you being in the room makes things awkward
Thanks for getting me home last night.
No worries. I'll always be there for you, just like Mufasa.
Tonight is one of those "I'm wearing a shirt as a dress" nights because I need to get laid.
ride him like a prized pony all the way to orgasm town.
I think my cats understand what porn is. And it's all my fault.
The rest of us are chipping in to soundproof your bedroom. This is getting ridiculous.
The closest thing to a sext that you will ever receive from me is a picture of pepperonis on Greg's asscheeks, clenching.
...I can smell the alcohol on your breath through that text
I woke up to my one night stand and he said, "now that's the one to beat"
Like 50% of me thinks it'll be weird, 25% of me is curious & 25% of me is horny
Hey, thanks for not calling the cops when I answered the door naked, high as fuck, and covered in red velvet cake batter.
Vomit your little heart out. You've got a long day tomorrow
So... Sex in my rain boots last night. Trashy or a great show of character?
If it was with a guy, trashy. Sex with a girl is never trashy.
Randomize
