Would it be quicker to bike the freeway home?
I just hope my dad was drunk enough to not remember the whole convo we had about anal.
do u think i could put an abortion on my debit card?
Turns out I'm like the Wayne Gretzky of hiding cum. Who knew?
honestly, magaritas are the void men can't fill.
the next morning i told him i was impressed that he remembered my name. he said it wasn't that hard when "tracy
we all know badassery is carried on the XX chromosome
We got kicked out of the ice rink last night for drinking and checking strangers... but they let us keep the beer
Let me tell you the story of bicurious george
I would love a rich wife. Then I would be like a gym teacher or some shit. Bigfoot hunter maybe.
People were staring and acting all judgmental and offended... Like they've never seen anyone breastfeed in a liquor store.
We played Rock Paper Scissors to see who would have to go down on the other person.
I touched the butt once. 'Twas an experience with the greatness of legend. So I touched it once more.
We just had an accidental Facebook titty pic scare.
My crotch smells like fire and I can't find my pants
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