just fucked my old babysitter, gotta love block parties
Is there a technical name for reverse cowgirl? I'm trying to maintain a little dignity with my mother here
I have your shoes, your bike, and someones blue underwear. Round 2 tonight?
A small child is toddling around the store, holding a coloring book and a shot glass. Thinking of you.
It's my coworker's last day party and I'm the one who ended up shitfaced on the train with half a bottle of belvedere in my bag.
You paid at the door and they gave you a straw for the kiddie pool full of booze.
After a bit there were two girls who got naked and liquor wrestled. I don't think it was planned.
I was having the most awesome dream about onion rings and you hit me and told me to stop touching you...WTF?
And THIS is why we get drunk. No good story, documentation, or event happens by eating a salad. Alcohol consumption leads to good things
Got a minor my first day of college from the bike police. I'm gonna like it here
Currently eating Dominos at the bar high as shit so that's how homework is going
i think i just lost a toe
nothing like waking up to a voice mail saying your std test came back negative
We had a company shotgunning beers contest in the parking lot today, and I won. God bless America!
so apparently over the course of the night my roommate and i had sex in exactly the same spot. ps the downstairs sink needs cleaning.
dude, next time you say lets go on an adventure, tell me if there are going to be psychotrophics involved before hand.
Randomize
