You make homosexuality sound like a cult.
I was so drunk i thought Kathy Griffin was funny
Did you ever feel like going into a planned parenthood and performing an abortion in front of them?
Umm..who the fuck is this?
Oh shit
The more I throw up, the more I am remembering exactly what I drank last night...in order.
i got really high and listened to the spongebob squarepants theme song and, i swear to god, it was in german.
You kept telling that ginger girl, "it's not your fault, it's not your fault, it's not your fault."
Just witnessed my roommate pick her nose and eat it in her sleep. Remember, you made out with that.
Who wouldn't want a man who can knock a guy out but also loves the bachelor.
It's the best of both worlds
I feel I must have sex with him first to fully decide where my vagina belongs.
I warned you. Don't come crying to me when your vagina refuses to forgive you for this.
Wikipedia just saved you three hours and $30 on a bar tab. You should donate.
$5. Donated.
Learn from my mistakes, you naive soul: Gay love triangles are just as dangerous as straight love triangles.
I just stood beside an Amish man and bought Cocoa Krispies and tampons.
I was giving you head in the kitchen, and when I looked up you were eating a quesadilla.
I cut him off because he was changing my thermostat every time he came over
You made the right decision
Randomize
