Bro can a girl get pregnant if i jizz in her mouth?
hahahahahahahahahahaha
I just showed my boobs to our astate representative hahahahahahha
Holy mother of cocks. I was grind-with-my-boss drunk last night.
There's somethin not right about having to take the batteries out of your 27 year old boyfriends gameboy to use in your vibrator
I've never heard of anyone celebrating the holidays with a fuck buddies family before.
....I'll be expecting my trophy when I return.
We team puked and then made sex like wild monkeys. If that isn't love, I don't know what is.
That freshman guy that keeps trying to hook up with me just saved someone's life ... Should I reconsider?
The molly dropped while I was taking a shit. Do you have any idea how scary that is?
That does not seem like timing
Milk that cash cow for all the shots she's worth
He tried to tell me that he could handle his liquor better than "all the bitches in this town." AS HE THREW UP. ALL. OVER.
these are times I'm glad I'm Jewish because the Torah is just like "drink, eat, and fuck"
My exam ends at 4pm so I plan to be passed out in the bar by 5pm. Want to join me?
I woke up with $140 in twenties in my bra and have never been more puzzled.
i rearranged my furniture so i could masturbate in the sun. how's that for spring cleaning?
Mind if I sleep with your cousin? If I can... thanks. If no, sorry its gonna happen.
Randomize
