Watching a deaf couple have an argument in the mall. Can't bring myself to look away.
I am only moving my arms so I remember that I can. These brownies are wild.
Just ran into that guy that tried to take a dump in your pool
My liver is crying. And I feel like I got fingered by Edward Scissorhands. While he was wearing brass knuckles
I can HEAR him staring at your boobs.
i just want to be sober by dinner like is that too much to ask
BUT I think maybe Thursday in celebration of America we should probably tan and see how fast we can finish everything in the liquor cabinet.
And as the acid sets in, he looks back at the shallow form he used to call his and whispers "3 pee pees strong"
Just scratched my head and I basically rained glitter.
My walk of shame turned into having to get his dad to tow my best friends car out of the snowbank in his driveway
I'm not sure. I have to find the Greeks I was with last night and see if they can explain to me why I can't hear out of my right ear and why I look like I got the shit kicked out of me
Having sex with him is like yoga. I do it in the morning and then can't walk for three days afterwards.
I'll give you another blowjob if you bring me some cake.
I just volunteered myself to get tazed this should get interesting
Sorry. Im too sleepy to penis.
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