Well, it's 24 hours till finals. I need high A's on all of them and I still am not sure where exactly on campus most of my classes took place.
Downstairs neighbor just asked me to tell people when they jump off the balcony next time not to land on her flowers
My piss changed color midstream. Think that means I have a 50/50 chance of passing the test?
judging by the cake all over the hall, my neighbors had a pretty successful thursday too.
It's like salsa. But with balls in it. I like to call it balsa
Also, just almost microwaved cereal. Thank god mom is here to stop me.
We learned a lot about one another. I showed him around the town I grew up in and he informed me that he has had a threesome and killed a cat
Woke up Christmas Eve morning with my face smelling like ballsack.. No regrets.
Medically speaking as your gynecologist and your girlfriend, that is not a rash.
And we're breaking up
im on the hungover til tuesday pabst blue ribbon diet
I woke up to him peeing by our bedroom door. I yelled at him to go to the bathroom and he just kept peeing while he walked there. This is a new low.
I just woke up to a ten minute voicemail of you sobbing about the X-Men. Stop getting drunk and watching Marvel movies.
BUT WOLVERINE IS SO TORMENTED AND JUST WANTS TO BE LOVED
Dude you literally tried to cook your phone in the microwave. You were so wasted you asked your mom to help you turn it on.
Seriously my new passion in life is the girth of his penis
Does sending her to the conference instead of a competent employee and putting her in a suite make up for banging her husband behind her back?
No, but she’ll have a nice memory when she gets dumped and fired on the same day.
Randomize
