He lets me throw up in him even if i do it mistakeily- erica talking about the toilet
are you going to last longer than 15 seconds
nope
I started drinking at 10.30am. Ive got a solid buzz, ive decided holidays are to be treated like gamedays
im gonna put my furry chinchilla vagina on her mother effing nose
I'm slowing backing away from her. I tried breaking up with her and it felt like I was clubbing baby seals.
I just want to let you know it was a unanimous decision that we would eat you first if we ever turned into cannibals, we figured with all the bacon you eat you may taste like it. It's a chance we are willing to take with your life...don't forget that we love you
I have the money I owe you for auctioning off your black thongs. Best 30 bucks ever spent
Hey. Can you be so hung over that you get a rash?
I got a dollar bill stuffed into my bra on two separate occasions by two separate guys simply for having boobs. I feel like somewhere god is patting himself on te back while pointing at me goin "you're welcome dude." easiest two bucks I ever made.
you riverdanced for the cops while the rest ran away.
A little light bondage fun never hurt anybody (erotic asphyxiation excluded). Car batteries attached to reproductive organs have.
I'd like to request an "its my birthday discount", and for you to bartend shirtless tonight ;)
She just won 2 Grammys at 17 and were sitting here hotboxing our half bathroom
Who knew that showing someone your boobs would make them stop crying.
i black out too much to be "responsible"
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