I'm more concerned as to why he has a playlist entitled Dem Club Beats.
Walk of shame... his parents made me go to church with them first. in my club top sweat pants and slippers. i just slapped god in the face
so I'm coping with getting the "I'm not over my ex" bomb dropped on me by getting drunk and yelling at people while wearing a purple princess hat
He came so hard he burst a blood vessel in his eye. Do I have to take him to the ER? because I'm too tired for this shit.
Three Architectural classes: $990.00 Architectural supplies: $300.00 Changing majors and using my architectural supplies to roll blunts: Priceless
Only you could successfully troll for dick at a Hillel bake sale.
She doesn't even know his real name...he just keeps calling himself Hans the Third
Who gets call-your-ex-from-4-years-ago drunk on a Thursday??
When you're done railing that chick, there is still half a pizza and some ninja turtle mac and cheese down here if you want
What kind of paramedic is he, some dude is dying back there and he's trying to get laid
I had the choice between 9 burritos and 1 girl...
And...?
Uhmmmm is there really any way to tactfully ask "you into me jerking you off with my feet... or nah" cause if you find one let me know 😂
You would be successful and sober without me. you can't turn your bakon me now
Quit giving me a hard time, whens the last time you got head every night? Cougars are where its at they dont play games
Do you just want me to shit in a Jack-o-latern
Randomize
