butt sex is not good for yourself don't do it
Thanks?
This chick just checked into her walk of shame on Foursquare... I think I'm in love.
best line ever after sex today..."wow, that was a porn-star sized load"
her cat watched me eat her out... I would use the alternate term for both of those things but it's too weird.
I was just referred to as 'the margarita slut' by an 11 year old.
I was just informed that you are the reason for my 2 missing front teeth.
Did you ever get our sex tape out of the rental car before you returned it?
She shouted out halfway through "that costume does nothing to hide your cock". Last time we let her drink at the theatre.
He did not appreciate the "you did reuse the diamond" comment when looking at his new fiance's ring.
You were so drunk that you didn't even notice when I switched out your shot of jäger for a shot of maple syrup...before or after you drank it.
I just wanna get high and take a fucking awesome nap. Those are my goals for the week.
Currently googling hangover cures, which looks a lot like working from the perspective of my boss.
cant one of your roommates drive you?
You came in my eye once. You owe me.
ill be there in 20
I kept my extra Molly pill in my wallet in the change part, that's also where I keep my body jewelry while I'm working. The nose ring punctured the pill essentially coating itself in MDMA. My nose ring is back in my nose. This could be entertaining
Gov of Georgia is going to allow massage therapists to return to work.
Gives a new meaning to 'Happy Endings'.
Randomize
