Whssdazt areerg yiu up to? U thijk ur lame!
read your last text- its a foreign language-im not ignoring you, easyyy
I smell stomach acid.
With such a small dick you'd think he'd try to make up for it with some sort of personality.
i need a new camera phone. my pictures from last night are as blurry as my memories. and neither tell me why i woke up in an airplane hangar.
Just got the American Express annual summary for 2009. The amount of bars we visited last year is impressive.
we couldn't afford a big pool so we bought 2 kiddie pools and put the inflatable beer pong table inbetween. get over here. now.
You gave the cab driver your pants as collateral while you ran in the house for money.
Gonna send a picture of my negative pregnancy test with the message "Merry Christmas" to the guys I've been sleeping with. That alone, will put a huge dent in my shopping list of gifts for people.
He always finds the good stuff. He's like a truffle pig for bud.
i made this one couple from ohio so uncomfortable that they left....and that was WHEN I HAD PANTS ON
Depending on which video of him streaking you watch, you can see me passed out in the front row.
Bianca brought a stripper home he's making me breakfast
I just wanna get high and take a fucking awesome nap. Those are my goals for the week.
As your friend, who loves and cares for you, I have to be honest. I am judging you so VERY hard right now. Sorry.
Why is there a mildly painful bruise on my back?
You slipped off the sink last night.
Why was I on the sink......?
;)
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