ya ever know whats down there. always send some fingers in first to scout the situation. fingers are not used for pleasure. they're used for covert missions.
I remember spending $50 at Ozzie's on Friday...my Visa remembers $120.
So I'm at planned parenthood and there are 5 people here from Friday's party.
it wasnt like "sexy" or whatever. like...she was smiling just standing there butt ass naked
tasteful.
So it turns out there are pros and cons to having a broken wrist. Pro: I can give amazing blowjobs with my left hand. Con: I just had to open a packet of crisps with scissors.
This is the prime rib incident all over again
You make shower sex sound like waterboarding
How long does it take to cook a corndog over a candle?
Her legal name is Candy. Her being a whore is implied.
I used the lotion his mom gave me for christmas to give him a hand job. It felt so wrong.
I need a picture of your dick for my friends birthday card
I didn't cheat on him. He just hasn't been informed of the open part of our relationship.
I'm serious. My alarm label is "BAR TABS" as motivation for me to wake up in the morning and go to work.
I'm actually pinning crap for Friendsgiving like a boss right now. These bitches better show up.
He's petting your head, we need to leave now.
Randomize
