Since when do you wear a bracelet?
Not a bracelet. Half a pair of handcuffs
just joined the mile high club. if this plane crashes because of this text, it was worth.
I just want you to know if you wake up tomorrow morning and wreak of mustard, I was not involved.
I think online classes were designed around the concept of day drinking.
So apparently I threw a potted plant at a clown last night and told him to get his life together.
Ecstasy body chair massage shower sex fest this week?
Its like he woke the dragon, and the dragon is hungry for a good dick.
My dad picked me up from the bus station and as soon as he saw me he yelled "bus backwards is SUB!" and started laughing, I'm like 800% sure he's stoned. I'm so happy I came home for spring break.
i need some food
Holy shit I forgot about you stabbing him.
Finding an empty bathroom to shit on campus is like the quest for the fucking Holy Grail. Except with more stench and humiliation.
Is 28 too old to get fingered in Centennial Park? Asking for a friend.
It was the easiest thing I've ever done. 3am she walked into my room, saw my Buffalo Bills blanket, said go bills and got naked.
I woke up this morning and had to retrieve my clothes from the flagpole, they were using my boxers as a makeshift rally flag for drinking. Yeah last night was a success.
I guess I can check "drink alone in the dark" off my bucket list
I feel like everything in my life has been preparing me for my future sex robot experience
You’re so close!!!
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