I kinda look like a classier blonde kenny powers.
she worked me into her spring break cardio plan. im mondays and wednesdays.
Just ran into that guy that tried to take a dump in your pool
Won't anyone wonder why I'm mute, bald, and wearing an eye patch?
Jazzercise themed birthday pub crawl. 6 bars in 6 hours.everyone was a hot mess.
It's like rock paper scissors. Cold showers and smoking beat hangovers.
So I'm about to drive his drunk ass home and he spits on my car. Before I can say, "Dude, what the fuck?!", he puts his finger to my lips and goes "shhh, its in the past."
So after I fell off 4 times we concluded I'm not allowed to ride him anymore.
My vagina: 1 Male stubborness: 0
New drinking game idea: Take a shot for every republican you see on facebook bitching about the ruling.
Just because you have put things in my vagina does not mean you know me
I'm gonna try and get through this weekend sober, which is gonna be tough especially since I've already started drinking.
Okay, but that still doesn't explain all the glitter in my puke.
Maybe those shots of hot dog water wasn’t a good idea after killing a fifth of tequila.. but who’s askin
I’m going to give his broken heart CPR with my vagina
Randomize
