I gave her the chance to be interesting and she failed. So then I gave her a chance to be slutty and she failed at that too.
But I don't consider them one night stands. They're auditions.
i'm making a list of conversation topics in my blackberry so the ride won't be so awkward
I don't want to talk about her cat for two hours only to dry hump till I'm blistered. Not worth it.
Man the liquor store just wrong numbered me, its a sign even god wants me to drink
So idk if it's because I'm working out again or the coke, but I hit my target weight today. Whaaaat uuuup. Come and get me thanksgiving.
I just spend twenty minutes scrubing the "Happy Birthday" off of my vagina. He's never gonna forget this.
Idk. I was speaking metaphorically. Go for it. As one of your bad decisions, I feel confident in saying you've done worse.
As I was sneaking out of his house last night his moms lover was sneaking in, he held the door for me...
There was a pumpkin carving contest and we carved a very realistic dick about to penetrate a vagina. Our Christian Youth hosts were not happy.
What should've been a 10 minute beer run turned into her having a 40 minute mental breakdown in my car while in the parking lot. She then asked if she could live at my house and be my girlfriend. Her finishing act was stealing my peanut m&m's.
Well, when a girl introduces herself as "stormy" and gets your number from her boyfriends phone, I'd say that your situation is to be expected.
Just beer bonged through a snorkel, add that to the list
I'm bleeding and have questions
Its not something you can force it it just has to happen like a rainbow or pooping
Started my new year off by being hospitalized with pneumonia. You?
Found out I'm pregnant.
I'll stick with pneumonia.
Randomize
