I thought it was weird that her dad told me to finish and get out after he walked in on us. I like him
to do: lose virginity to hamster dance
then she came back into the room with a neckbrace on. i thought she was getting ready for the pounding of a lifetime.
So there's 10 guys in this picture..I've made out with 5 of them. does this make me a slut?
eh 50% isn't bad..i'd say 80% is slut material.
You love him. Dinosaurs. Math. Sex.
His apology was sex and a subway sandwich. Strangely, I'm okay with that.
NO. NO LET HIS PENIS TOUCH YOU.
Put you drinking hat aside for Tuesday. My buddy is bartending!
I just puked in my drinking hat.
I feel like I should be doing a victory lap around my house to the rocky music, or zapping and smiting people with my mystic wizard powers
being sober in physics class makes me realize the regularity with which i show up to it still drunk
WHY DID I INFORM THE ENTIRE BATHROOM I DONT HAVE AN STD?!?!?!!
I just had to call my mom to come pick me up stoned at a Lana's house and beg her to buy me Taco Bell. I'm graduating from college in 14 hours. Fuck
Whatever. I am not explaining the physics of my dick slapping.
I was giving him a blowjob but we had to stop because he started crying when his cat walked in and started staring at us
At what point did i decide poptarts, nyquil, and whiskey was a good idea?
Randomize
