people are starting to question the shark bite story
Do you have any idea how hard it is to cum to Chingy?!
his genitalia just looks like a thumbs up. a really really small thumbs up.
I would explain the ketchup stains in the bed to him but saying I just got my period is so much less embarrassing...
She sucked my dick while i watched james bond. And they say marriage sucks
they still hired me even though my background check came back with a warrent for my arrest.
I still smell like men's body wash from that drunken shower I took at that stranger's home last night.
I was mid-sentence and you stopped me and said, "Yeah.. for my vaginas sake, I'm gonna need you to stop talking right now."
The bag I'm bringing home for the weekend: a change of clothes, workout shoes, and sex toys, that's it.
Drinking hard cider in a room full of freshman girls. Never felt so secure of my manhood
I probably wouldn't
We exchanged spring break stories last night. Open relationships are the best.
Also- should we send out holiday cards? That say, "Eat a dick, 2014"?
I broke a rule
Which One?!
The one where I shouldn't sleep with your friends. I broke this particular rule 4 times.
You're officially the worst brother ever.
College is really paying off. I am gonna be a great teacher. I just made a grading sheet for weed. This shit got an A.
So I ended the trip with two cold sores, poison ivy on my leg and vagina, and no alcohol or weed. WORST. 4TH. OF. JULY. EVER.
Randomize
