oh fat girl friday strikes again...
I woke up in your car in the McDonalds parking lot. What the hell happened to 'no man left behind'?
The girls we hooked up with were hammered, pushing each other in a shopping cart into the sushi place and through the restaurant... One's a volunteer EMT. God help her patients.
it wasn't a normal cookie, i figured that out 45 minutes into my exam
He just invited me over to bang on a sunday afternoon. If I can make it top the time I went to a strip club on fathers day then I'll consider it a success.
i think the theme of this summer is "shitting in weird locations."
I just saw a herd of slutty loofahs run down the street...
I got blood in my smoothie but it still tastes ok. Fuck glenfiddich.
I know but at least you've never been asked to have sex dressed up like Catwoman
I DONT HAVE A FUCKING JOB RIGHT NOW. DO YOU THINK I HAVE TIME TO WASTE GOING BACK AND FORTH WITH SOMEONE WHOS LYING, ABOUT LYING, AND JUST BEING A LIAR? HONESTLY, YES I DO HAVE TIME. BUT I HAVE A FUCKING LOT BETTER THINGS I COULD BE WASTING MY TIME DOING. LIKE ORGANIZING MY POKEMON CARD COLLECTION.
That's a gentle way of saying I passed out like an 18-year-old on his first trip to Tijuana
we didn't have sex though. because i have the will power of an ox.
You invited these random guys into your apartment that you met in the hallway...& then you started screaming at them to get out cause you didn't know who they were.
I just woke up, its 6AM and i'm pretty sure the guy passed out next to me is 70% ugly...
These business classes have improved my drug business ten fold
Randomize
