Got home from the bar at 4am. 100% sober, unlaid. Epic fail or responsible behavior?
Responsible fail?
tell your sister to shave her snatch
Pretty sure my dad just walked in on me jerking off watching guys on webcam. Remember how I used to say "most awkward day of my life?" I'm retiring that phrase.
jersey shore drinking game rules must be edited. almost died. how is it possible for a person to say guido that many times
He yelled "juice on the loose", yes i am sure i need plan b
The kid I'm babysitting just asked if I had a boyfriend. WHY IS A FOUR YEAR OLD MAKING ME FEEL BAD ABOUT MY LIFE
What is the protocol for an "i'm sorry I had my ex retrieve me from the bar so I didn't drive drunk" blow job
It's just one of those days where I'm too horny to function, to be perfectly honest.
And. I know i am a gay man cause when i saw the pic of his cock his feet were in it and i am like what the fuck?
Also.. The Hobbit does not look like a cartoon. We were just too fucking high.
Her text was so long it had an arrow to expand it. You know it's bad when even your iPhone can't handle her
As a gentleman whose genital hole is relatively small, you could imagine my reaction
i feel like ive seen the light, but not in the nasty christian way. thats gross. say no to jesus, kids
Don't send me pics of cunning dicks while I'm eating potato chips
I live in Vegas It shouldn’t be this hard to find a penis looking for a night of no strings attached sex
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