I forgot to tell you. I'm at a porno shoot today.
Im so hungover
Come over i have rolls
Ecstasy rolls or Challah rolls?
How did people poop without Blackberrys?
Motorola Razers?
Stone age, man.
he yelled 'rock me amadeus!' when he came
i love that song!
NOT THE POINT
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Why the fuck did you text me at 4 in the morning telling me not to have sex with the bird?
I like yr title more along "the hot Russian I have sex with."
My wedding band has saved me from at least four cases of herpes tonight.
Would you even take no as an answer? I have a feeling you see it more as a challenge.
Very impressive. My GPA is the same amount of orgasms I can offer tonight (valid only tonight): 3.5
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Woke up naked next to Alex and he was braiding my hair and then commented on how healthy my hair was. I don't even know anymore..
My mom just told me my dad shaves his pubes while drunk and I don't know how to feel anymore.
Crying while I'm pooping. I think this is rock bottom
oh you can't commit, don't have any real ambitions, and love to drink PBR? well.... sign me up!
It’s only loud for those who wanna get loud. The bowlers are protected.
oh man there are to hot chicks wrestling in a pool of maple syrup. ill send you a picture
this is why i will never break up with you
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