Last night i stole a disco ball from a frat house by pretending i was pregnant.
Pride was great cause we really can now appreciate how far we've come as gay people!
Doll, if you're still fucking strangers behind the WeHo Sonic while high on E then we've come as far as 2003...
you ever fart during an orgasm? feels like u just lost 10 pounds
it's kind of nice to have a picture of me making out with someone and actually know who it is for once
All I remember is saying that "fire will make it all better"
I found the other part of your tooth if you want to put it under your pillow
There are about 5 pictures of my dog taking a dump on my camera and 20 of Brandon taking one for "comparison" reasons.
His penis without viagra is what breaks my heart.
I'm surprised, it's been so long you must be starving
At a certain point, the zombie-like hunger goes away. Then the sadness sets in. Then you start lying to yourself that you're taking some "me time." Then you remember you dodged chlamydia and Buddha knows what else. Then you're at peace with it.
Do you know how hard it is to be while you're high with a chuck Norris poster in the bathroom?
Yes. I'm realizing that sports games are good reasons to drink. I just cheer when everyone else cheers.
Your mankini haunted my dreams.
I'd climb him like a horny MILF spider monkey.
I brought her cheeseburgers and tequila but she's still mad at me.
You tore a poster off a lamppost and ATE IT. That drunk.
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