Puked in a cab. Passed out on my floor an my mom put a blanket over me. Home by 1045. I won shitshow trophy last night.
Hey Operation Dumbo Drop... FYI, when you select your date this evening, our doorway is 3'x7'
I just walked in on my roommate beating off with no pants on, an unbuttoned hawaiian shirt and a cowboy hat, and he weights 300 pounds
she bought me drinks at the bar, made me pizza at her place, gave me head, and then drove me home...i think i might propose
Eating meat and looking at porn while roommate is at church for Ash Wednesday. Win.
Is there anything medically wrong with drinking beer from a vagina?
How did the beer even get there in the first place?
That's not what's important right now
You NEED to fuck him he's a doctor with one leg. Are you kidding me right now. This will definitely make the list. Plus he buys all of us drinks.
It is too early in this hangover to be seeing some guys ass crack.
I really enjoy how cavalier you're being about your chlamydia
I never thought I'd end up with a prison pen pal through tinder
In my life time, I want nothing more than to get a blow job while watching Space Jam.
But the real reason your aunt is drunk crying is because she has already had four margs and went for a 5th and someone is trying to stop her
I may or may not have just had sex in the bed of a pick-up at a drive-in movie theater.
I got a pots and pans set and a vibrator. Merry Crisis.
tell me about the fingering
Randomize
