he told me my vagina needed a tic tac
i don't think my life will be extraordinarily more meaningful if i let him put his tongue in my butthole.
I took it to a new level. I'm procrastinating taking my adderall. Hate finals week.
Why was I handcuffed to the roof?
It was easier then trying to explain why you couldn't fly
You were humming mission impossible as we ran from the cops
So where are we on this whole, you write my paper...i do sexual favors situation?
He's def the type to chop us into bits whilst screaming "NAPA BITCH". AKA my type
So is there a reason your dad is passed out naked in my shower? P.S. Congrats on the family dong.
I didn't get it..
I'm sorry. But to the original question please.
No dude, he just dipped his cigarette info ranch dressing and lit it. He's said he normally doesn't do that but it's Memorial Day.
she sent me a picture of dilf asleep in bed with the caption "what happened last night?"
He texts me "what are you wearing" in the middle of the workday, so naturally I assume he's kidding and respond "the blood of my enemies" #foreveralone
wouldn't be a true Fourth of July without dropping acid at 9pm on a Monday
FREEDOM
Him showing up yesterday was like a giant ego stroke for my vagina.
He fucked me for my Netflix login, I fucked him for his HBO login, and actually I think that's beautiful
My mom found me this morning passed out, face down on my dinning room floor
That must have been one awkward situation haha
Well I woke up in my bed.... I don't remember her finding me
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