Friends don't let friends fuck ugly girls. WALK AWAY FROM HER!
if your phone is working sorry i called you at 2am. if it is not then i never called your phone at 2am
I walked into cold stone and the guy started preparing a supersized birthday cake remix for "Mrs. Munchies"
I wish i could put a picture of my ass of my resume...that seems to be the only way i will ever get hired
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
how can i incorporate a boy scout uniform into what i do tonight?
he just ordered a side of pineapple and winked at me. too much for a first date. come get me.
I can't feel the bottom half of my face but i feel like our sex would be amazing
Their first impression of me was that I was completely naked. So yeah college hasn't even started yet and I'm already that person.
I'm going to bed early so football can come sooner
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Are there edibles for sale in the Denver airport because if so bring those to my mouth
Did you leave a mouse under my pillow again?
He told me was "pretty like the wife in some movie where the husband is a cheater." I think I'm gonna fuck him.
Just heard a 15 minute program on the radio about how cases of gonorrhea in the throat and rectum are skyrocketing in the US. Almost crashed laughing so hard.
Sorry, who is this??
if by making eggnog you mean drinking all the spiced rum, then yes, she's making eggnog
I quit doing blow for him. If that doesn’t say “I’m in love with you and want to marry you” idk what does
Randomize