Can we switch to phone sex? This is starting to get awkward...
Viking lives by an ancient code of honor that we do not understand.
What code could that possibly be? Bothering the fucking shit out of people while being physically repulsive?
his personality makes his face look like an asshole.
Don't be a dummy cum on the tummy. Make her a slut, and cum in her butt. Have no fear, jizz in her ear. Don't be a noob, cum on her boob. Forget her rack, blow on her back. Just take off your coat and jizz in her throat. And if she seals off her holes, cum in her rolls
is that a poem?!
then you asked me to turn your jeans into "jorts" just long enough to cover your ballsack
well you haven't lived until you've been 86'ed from a family restaraunt
she passed on me to fuck the foreign guy. is there a manlier, slightly less gay way of saying "always the bridesmaid, never the bride"?
nope.
He made me a mix cd. There is obviously something wrong with him.
also, I just found three random bruises on my knee. probably from when I was velcrod to the stairs
It's great having no responsibilities. In normal life I would be freaking the fuck out right about now. But the only worry I have from last night is where i got this shower caddy full of cookies. God I love college.
I was packing a bowl naked and her dog just stared at me with pure rage
Guess who isn't pregnant with a random sex ocean baby?!?!
I tried to bring you in when you passed out on the porch but all you said was that I "ruined your hope ands dreams of becoming an astronaut"
I am drunkenly riding a razor scooter up and down the hills of Cincinnati
What in the fuck are you doing with your life
home. only unpacked the necessities...contact case and beer.
Randomize
