At a strip club after monster truck rally. You should be here
Just TALKING to him is better than banging my bf, imagine what actual banging will be like.
i dont care if i had to wear a dress to fuck her, she was super hot and i stand by my decision
Just had a dream about an abnormally large bottle of tequila. No more depressed drinking for me.
I give you the lube, you make me the mac and cheese, that's a pretty fair deal I think.
We should reintroduce naked Mondays
We blazed in her bathtub. All 5 of us. Not easy bro
Bring my gorilla suit and my bong.
Oh its going to be that type of weekend?
Annnnddddd this chick is using a hand puppet made of a sock to give her research presentation...
just peed in rthe mens room but seranaeded them with adelle the whole timee so they didnt mind
Its like a match made in avoid-eachother-because-we're-antisocial-and-awkward heaven
WHY THE FUCK DID I HAVE TO FALL IN LOVE WITH A CONVICT
Crying while I'm pooping. I think this is rock bottom
His name isnt in my phone as “Satan’s spawn” for no reason. #devildick
You microwaved all of my silverware, I don't care if you spent all your money on tequila, you're paying for this.
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