Just saw the true definition of the muffin top and camel toe all on one person at the DC zoo... Tried to take a pic but she got away..
you got so mad from losing a game of beerpong that you went into another room by yourself and practiced for an hour and a half.
That bus ride was like a tour of all the bushes I puked behind last night
I didn't know it was possible to make picking up dog shit look sexy.
She did the bend and snap...
Exactly. wat kind of friend would i be if i even pretended to give a shit about ur problems
Even my vagina gasped.
figured after she passed out and i threw up in her bed, morning sex would be pushing it.
Plus I'm on the toilet and I can only describe it as if someone had kicked the cap off of a fire hydrant.
I dont know how I should feel about you making a 37 year old come visit you and then making him do the walk of shame from your dorm room...through campus
Summary of my night: made out with a complete stranger at a club dressed in the Geico gecko costume...
It's a good thing you're straight. You'd make a horrible lesbian.
I would ride that face into the sunset
I think it's your fault my nipples aren't sensitive anymore.
I woke up with pitch black feet and crushed doritos around my mouth. That's how I determined how my night went
Andddddd I'm drunk
Andddddd it's Tuesday
That's your opinion.
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