If a girl drunk dials you she's at least entertained the idea of sleeping w/ you correct?
YES
I wish you were here to vomit in your hand.
I mean, it really isn't YOUR car until you have sex in it.
I got it! After our exam we take shots for every question we skipped!!!
I don't wanna die...
i woke up with a wedding ring drawn on my finger...if this was vegas id be worried
Well, I just watched him puke into his pitcher at the bar, I doubt he cares about anything other than the fact that he needs a new beer.
Facebook stalking a girl from Germany is harder then you think.you have to copy and paste all this shit into freetranslations.com then try and piece together an awkward sentence. If only I could put this energy into something productive.
they're both coked to the gills having a shouting match about the powers and abilities of godzilla. and using the wikipedia entry on the topic to support their respective arguments.
I distinctly remember seeing your nipples from the deck.
Dude..this is the third year in a row me and him have fucked at a super bowl party..does that count as a tradition?
I'm over my straight phase. They all turned out to be idiots and none of them got me off. I'm going back to hot girls with strap ons.
I feel I should send an apology letter to my anesthesiologist.
He's hot, clean, can actually cook, and best of all isn't a narcissistic prick. I found a unicorn.
Ride that fucker.
Did you just affectionately call me a scrotum?
So you realized he wasn't actually cheating on you and now you're trying to unfuck things. Or in this case unfuck Tom.
Randomize
