he spit gasoline on a tiki torch to impress a girl. he caught on fire but did get laid. success.
I have so many mobile devices now, I only use my laptop for porn.
We need to talk in the morning. The guy I was with just interpreted me taking off my earrings as code for "let me take off my pants."
Is being a pregnant whore worse than an average one?
Idk, it's Grover wearing a sombrero. Do I need a reason?
I think I love you, but I may be biased because we had pirate sex.
Those people having sex on the beach kept looking over at you guys throwing his shoes at the seagulls.
I woke up to my one night stand and he said, "now that's the one to beat"
I gave him morning sex, a bag of cookies, and dropped him off at work. I believe I deserve the "best hookup award."
He also told me he would eat mozzarella sticks before having sex with me so I'm mad at him.
he has the ass of a greek god and he made me breakfast
I know I'm moving in six days but getting wine drunk and laying in bed just sounds so good right now
I felt like I was having sex with Joffrey from Game of Thrones. Needless to say how bad it was
Just to clear things up, yes you did lick the strippers butt
Sex. Target parking lot. I really am the mayor.
Randomize
