Disadvantage of being gay..... my gag reflexes makes trying to make myself throw up extremely difficult.
legit been throwing up since 7am. told my parents the two bowls of puke in my dorm were soup
They just came out of my bathroom and asked if I could spare them a condom. See. Its a good thing I have some.
I invented the best game. It's called "what touched my exposed nutsack?" It can range from pillows to toothbrushes
He wrote me poetry. 12 hours after getting my number
We didn't have sex because he locked himself in the bathroom and passed out while he was taking a shit. I cuddled with his cat.
My family will be here in an hour and I'm deciding between doing my makeup or saying fuck it and wearing what's left of last night's...
New rule. No seeing movies about plane crashes after killer bong rips
We're exchanging our favorite porn sites at 9 am. I think this brings our relationship to a whole new level
Yes, if by 'finishing my business' you mean vomiting in her bathtub and losing my watch.
I just googled, "what type of cured meat does my face taste like", and one of the top results was, "The Definitive Guide to Bacon." I couldn't make this up if I tried.
IM BACK TOGETHER WITH MY BF AND HERE YOU ARE SUCKING DICK FROM 2009
i made out with his shirt. MDMA, man.
I woke up and there is a small Irish man playing call of duty in my room. Discuss.
I felt the need to set off fireworks in the living room while they were having sex upstairs. Yes, they quieted down.
Randomize
