Question: why is there a dildo glued to my kitchen table?
Her brother is deaf.
no wonder she was so good with her hands
cheating on your boyfriend is the best diet ever, I've barely eaten in days. The guilt is killing me
My roommate made me go home after I mooed at fat girls at the gas station.
Im just a social blackout drinker.
You should be proud. How many people can say they GAVE a stripper an std?
She's the one that asked you what my favorite color was & handed you a piece of bacon
She finally pulled over after almost hitting 4 cars and a semi and asked me if i was rwady i told her to let my penis to come back out
If I have to go to the hospital, at least put my pants back on. It's been a fantastic night.
Pretty sure I picked a cat up off the street and took him home with me, fed him tuna, then let him go
You can't play that off as role play thing. You held my hips and kept yelling "put a baby in me!" That shit ain't cool.
The last thing I remember is crying and shaking my head as she was putting salt on my hand. I guess I took the shot
I woke up to my bra draped over his lamp and a huge bump on my head. apparently, I face planted while having sex in the shower..
I kind of really want to call off the engagement but I kind of need his mom's mashed potatoes on thanksgiving so I'm between a rock & a hard place here
thank you for the vibrator recommendation, i've come six times today and it's only noon
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