There are just some things I refuse to put in my mouth.
so he just left - touched my cheek like he was gona kiss me and then gave me a fist bump?
we fucked to don't stop believing. most epic sex EVER.
Is it wierd that you're going to be my best man and you've fucked my wife?
im celebrating the fact lent is over and i can give blow jobs again.
He drives a BMW. I have to fuck him. Girl Code Rule #26.
If you're that baked in a class full of people that know you're that baked you tend to offer up a peace offering. Its like the burrito of trust! If eaten you are now obligated to help maintain my grades and keep me from falling out of my chair. $3.75 a morning is worth it for that mafia type protection!
It has become abundantly clear why you give me pixie stix when you're drunk now...
stop calling me dude. finger blasting me officially kills you being able to call me dude.
Also 70% sure I have a splinter on my eyelid from last night
I think I just got propositioned for sex by the lady behind the counter at dunkin donuts
i know. like I have the nerve to talk about poverty. I eat peanut butter out of the jar.
what do you mean i can't make cookies with a blow dryer? challenge accepted.
Allow me to explain. Triple D is a surprise. It's like if you're expecting to fight one person, then you get ambushed by more. Except it's a good ambush, because it's boobs, not death.
I wonder if my sister will drive me around while I do bong hits in the back seat..
I went out to dinner with the girls thinking I'd be home early. Instead I ended up in the Englishman's hotel room. Long Live The Queen.
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