pretty sure i remember announcing that i lost my virginity to that brad paisley song when it came on during power hour?
Just got laid for the first time in 3 yrs, 10 mo, 1 wk & 2 days. YESSSS.
I'd give my left nut to see you
don't do that. I like the set
Remember in school when they told us our vag was made just the right size for our future husband? I must say I am enjoying trying to find that perfect fit.
Using your Catholic School education as an excuse for this? Why didn't I think of that?!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
there's a sledge hammer in the bottom of the swimming pool... so whatever happened last night was probably awesome
You insisted on drinking champagne out of the dog bowl
I mean it was like cry my eyes out or masturbate in my moms bathroom.
I think drinking everclear was a better idea than taking a night class.
I have managed to reach the 'after meth poster look' before lunch here...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I mean, I introduced myself as "the after party". I think he knew early in the night he was in for a bangathon.
Moral of the story: I had sex to Back to the Future last night.
I feel as though my head has drastically changed shape
My phone autocorrected "shhhhh" to "AHHHHHHHHH" and I feel like that says a lot about my life
I'm not 100 percent on this, but I think I just shit a lump of cement. What the fuck happened last night?
You're even getting laid in my dreams, god I'm a good wingman
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